The examination hall at school, before a Math final, would have my stomach turning inside out and my forehead sweating, even on a cold February morning. Now, it might have been alright if I had not put away my video games and my basketball whilst I was supposed to study, but despite spending good hours solving math equations I always had this voice inside my head telling me that â€˜your math paper would eat you alive and then the world will endâ€™.
If you belong to the blessed category of those who would be laughing away your math exam mornings, then let me admit this, I am envious of you, but if your mind started recalling your own math troubles while you read the above, then perhaps we are the inhabitants of the same human space. Now a lot of us â€˜math hating, exam anxious kidsâ€™ who are now adults, have accomplished victory over the old fears as part of the usual growing up process and are leading happy adult lives, but not all have been able to, I havenâ€™t, and if you havenâ€™t too, then I hope that certain sentences below might offer you a little light.
Any fat dictionary defines the term anxiety as â€˜the nervousness or fear of what might happenâ€™. Take a moment to ponder over this, â€˜the fear of what might happenâ€™, such stupidity fearing something which hasnâ€™t yet occurred. Itâ€™s not really your fault my anxious friend, itâ€™s your wild, storytelling, trouble prone mind which always concocts the negative possibilities in every circumstance, no matter what. Now you could do the usual which I did and still do- run from anxiety, fight anxiety and a little brave alternative, hide from anxiety. If the above worked for you then that is perfect, but if not then there is a little something which I do and have found it helpful. No, not liquor, or fancy breathing techniques. It is Love.
Not the romantic or familial sorts, but love for your own self, that part which exists somewhere inside you, your very soul.
Whenever your mind asks you a difficult question again, â€œWhat are you going to do about it?â€ Just ask it another question, one of your very own, â€˜Dude, this is not a video game, I only have one life, why should I fear an outcome?â€™ Something like that, come up with creative ones, â€˜why shouldnâ€™t I say hello to that girlâ€™, â€˜how do you know I am going to die of the tetanus shotâ€™, â€˜why donâ€™t you get a life my brainâ€™.
When you start loving yourself for everything and at all times, youâ€™d see your fears turn to dust. The poetic element of that sentence is pretty neat because yours truly delights his nights endeavoring upon those but many a sleepless nights have been spent reflecting upon two pointers-
-I want it to , but I lack the ability to shut the emotion down.
-What if it never goes away?
And then one fine morning, actually a couple, I started asking questions to my brain whenever it would put one before me, and in the process, I realized that I love my ass and my little life a lot more than the fears I have amassed out of nothingness. And thatâ€™s all it is, anxiety arises out of nothingness, because what you do not know yet, is nothing. And to fear nothing is really not a good way to go about life right?
So donâ€™t, be your own light my dear friend, find the love which stays hidden from your sight deep inside you, and relish it, for there is no greater happiness than love.
You were born out of love of two individuals, born to love, to not be afraid, but to be victorious.
I hope that you find your victory against all your fears my friend, good luck.